Friday, January 21, 2011

As If We Never Left

So I know what you are wondering, and the answer is yes. Organic kitty litter does clump better than the industrial, pesticide-laden cat sand. Now that we have that out of the way, let's get back to business.

After returning from Lima, I took a generous hiatus from writing entries. Very generous. 10 weeks generous. I always prefer to write these entries when I am in the mood to write and when I have something to say about an important topic (roof dogs are important). The past two months have certainly been interesting, but I haven't had the writer's itch. Of course, there were moments of the writer's itch, but I fortunately had plenty of Writer's Benadryl Topical Cream at the ready. Instead of dwelling on the past I want to focus on the here and now. So let's give this little blog thing another shot. I can't promise fruitless hunts for wig shops, terrible municipal election publicity, or Machu Picchu-centric humor, but I guarantee to relate some interesting travels, some unique foods, and endless asides and excessive use of parentheses.

I am writing this entry from an apartment building at the corner of 84th St and 1st Ave in New York City (where they don't manufacture Pace Thick n' Chunky. Can you say that about YOUR salsa?). Some of you may be asking yourself, "What was that Pace comment about?" Then again, some of you may not. I don't live in New York. In fact, I currently don't live anywhere. My current project with Deloitte has me in Houston Monday through Thursday, and then I can go wherever I want on the weekends as long as the plane ticket costs less than a plane ticket to the city of my home office, Los Angeles. If it costs more, well, it's coming out of my kitty. Anyhow, this weekend I am visiting the Mo residence in Manhattan. Last weekend was Redondo Beach with Jon Lee, and Chicago with Matt Robbins before that. Next weekend is Orinda with my extremely athletically gifted parents, followed by Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Jackson Hole, and then who knows? Clearly I am focused on getting my life together, finding a nice little house, and settling down. I have been asked what it's like to live without an apartment and have all my possessions for the weekend in a carry-on suitcase. Honestly, it's not that difficult, as long as you don't mind wearing the same clothes rather frequently (yes, I wash them). But the great thing is, no one knows you are rewearing clothes because you see different people each weekend. It would be nice to have an apartment to go back to every night with your bed, your Nordic Track, and your Ronco rotisserie oven, but 3.5 years of consulting has made me surprisingly accustomed to shifting abodes on a weekly basis. Checking in and out of hotels all the time doesn't strike me as odd when I am doing it, but when I check my hotel account and see I have stayed in Starwood hotels over 250 nights over the past three years (this excludes all the Hilton nights), it's a bit of a shock. So living like a nomad hasn't been too hard on me, and it's a great way to see friends who no longer live in California (or who never did, I suppose). How long will I live like this? Depends how long I can last before wearing out my welcome.

So back to New York. I woke up this morning to see the rooftops, awnings, cars, hedges (let me interject and say that I took a three week break between the first part of this blog and the second. I definitely need to work on my literary discipline, but let's continue as if I am in New York even though I am in Chicago. The inconsequential observations still hold true.), and people all covered in a healthy frosting of snow. I don't mean like the amount of frost on a lawn after a chilly night. I mean the amount of frosting you put on a funfetti cake when you realize you have far too much funfetti frosting for the aforementioned funfetti cake. Funfetti! The snow looks beautiful for a while, and it almost makes this incredibly urban environment feel natural and pristine. However, my affection for the snow is illusory and is soon replaced by spite and hatred. It creates a mess for cars and pedestrians. It serves as a medium to transport oil, salt, and road chemicals to the surrounding waterways. It traps defenseless cars in parking spots. All these effects are nuisances for us humans and sea creatures, but what about the dogs. There are a lot of dogs and very few backyards in New York, so these dogs need to get walked somewhere. And if there is snow on the ground, well, that dogs are going to have to suck it up. I know I have these idealistic images of Siberian Huskies and St. Bernards frolicking and having a grand old time, but there are very few of these natural snow dwellers in New York. There are many many small dogs however, and they couldn't be more unhappy to mucking it up out in the freezing cold. These dogs don't get to experience the luxurious roofs of Lima because their owners have decided to settle in a decidedly inhospitable climate. For the humans of New York, the downsides of the city (weather, prices, too many buildings, not enough Trader Joe's) are balanced by great upsides (terrific food, there is a lot to do, lots of buildings, one Trader Joe's). Unfortunately for the dogs, living in New York seems like a whole lot of downside. They don't have much space to romp, their owners are out having a ball in the city while they are stuck in undersized apartments, and they are largely isolated from their fellow canines while at home (due to the lack of backyard barking opportunities). I'm not saying people in New York shouldn't have dogs, but I sure wouldn't want to be a dog in Manhattan.

And this is the best he could come up with after 2.5 months...?

1 comment:

  1. crazy man, your life is like "up in the air." don't fall in love with any married women.