Sunday, September 26, 2010

Get Out the Vote!

Despite my grumblings about the Lima mayoral elections, I believe that civic engagement and participation is an important part of any democratic government. Yes, I actually believe this and no I didn't copy the sentence from my sixth grade social studies book. There are many ways that one can participate in a democracy, but none more fundamental than casting a vote. Unfortunately, many people do not vote thus rendering the democracy less democratic. I am happy to report, however, that the ONPE organization in Lima has undertaken an effort to increase voter turnout. On Saturday while walking with a friend through Barranco, we saw an ONPE parade reminding people to vote on October 3rd. I have also noticed the appearance of the following posters around town announcing that "Peruvians will make very important decisions, come to vote!"



I like this poster for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it lets the public know that no one should feel excluded from voting. Do you wear hearing aids? No problem, come vote! Are you afraid that you might get turned away for using crutches? Don't worry, your kind is welcome too. What about hip little people, can they cast a ballot? Of course they can! Stubby-fingered folks are forbidden though, right? No way, come vote sausage mitts! Women, men, even hockey fans are all encouraged to turn out October 3rd to take part in democracy. I also appreciate that this poster clearly implies who is not allowed to vote, either for legal or common sense reasons. You are out of luck if you are a:

a. child
b. bald person
c. cyclops

In the spirit of civic participation I attended a mayoral debate for the Pachacamac district of Lima. For those who are unfamiliar with Pachacamac, it is a heavily agrarian and relatively poor district in the southernmost part of Lima. Rather than the skyscrapers and expressways of Miraflores you are likely to see sprawling farms and dirt roads. GEA had organized the debate and our fearless leader (Optimus Prime?!) Anna Zucchetti acted as the moderator. I figured that since I can't legally vote I might as well learn about the system. About 20 folks from GEA arrived around 4:30 at the Granjita Feliz or "Happy Little Farm" in Pachacamac to help setup for the debate. This venue is both a working farm and a restaurant which can be rented out for large events. Because most of the preparation had already been taken care of, I took the opportunity to visit with some of the animals of the Granjita Feliz. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Granjita Feliz had more animals than the farms I was accustomed to in the US. In addition to the garden variety pigs, chicken, ducks, llamas, cows, ponies, and rabbits, I visited with an alpaca, two tortoises, a falcon, some peacocks, a very dirty sheep, and some goats. I probably took more pictures than I really needed to, but I always get these bizarre ideas that when animals look at me they have very human thoughts. For instance, this sheep:



might be thinking to herself "You know, I don't care what Bernie says. This new weather stripping is going to save us a bundle off our heating bills come winter." Anyone else ever feel that way? No? No one? Alright, well after taking some unnecessary pictures, Edgar, Fabiola, and I set up a registration table at the entrance to the farm to take down the attendees information. I was impressed to see that approximately 100 people attended, and despite my flippancy about voting diversity earlier in the entry, it was very touching to see the spectrum of people who turned out to hear the candidates speak. Granted, only a small percentage of the population of Pachacamac attended, but all sorts of different people clearly had interest in participating in the matters of their town. Unfortunately, my duties prevented me from hearing the candidates, but during the registration lulls I was able to talk Lima politics with my aforementioned registration team as well as Diego, Franco, and periodically Wallys (doesn't that sound like some bizarre sequel to "Suddenly Susan?"). I have only been following the elections obliquely and was not able to offer any incredibly insightful commentary, but listening to the political discourse of a young and progressive group (typical of GEA) made me feel nearly as engaged as during the 2008 US presidential elections. It's always refreshing to see people passionate about the future of their city, country, or world, and it's not as noticeable in the corporate environment. Then the argument turned to Saturday's game between two Lima soccer teams, Allianza and Universitario, and all hope of any further civic engagement went down the tubes like so much guinea pig gas.

More photos in the Flickr account!

Monday, September 20, 2010

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, Most of Them Are "Yuck"

Living in Lima during the mayoral elections has certainly been stimulating. The director of GEA spoke in a televised debate, there are vigorous political discussions in the office and on the street, and one can truly sense a palpable buzz about the elections. Despite these positive aspects of the elections there is a major negative which seems to override them all. There are posters, banners, fliers, flags, billboards, leaflets, pamphlets, and murals everywhere. You may be saying to yourself, "Did I leave the oven on? Also, did I remember to let Barry, my long-haired dachshund, into the yard while I pick up more spackle at the Home Depot?" You might also be saying to yourself, "Lima only has one mayor, and there can't be more than a handful of candidates. I wonder why Andrew is so put out by all this. Well, I'm not going to worry over it since I remembered to pick up that spackle I needed." True, Lima only has one mayor. However, every district in Lima also has a mayor. And oh yeah, there are FORTY THREE districts in Lima. Therefore, each district is swamped by publicity for both the districtal candidate and the Lima candidate. Compounding this problem is the fact that each race has approximately 10 candidates running for mayor. The bottom line is everyone in this fair city is constantly and relentlessly bombarded by candidates' faces and messages. I have had difficulty taking decent pictures in Lima because there are so many billboards, banners, posters, etc. all over the place. Now I try to be a tolerant guy, but these ads really bother me. Not only are they in my face all the time, but many of them have major problems in the ad itself. Of the worst offenders, I find that the ads fall into two broad categories:

- Fire your photographer

- Fire whoever thought that ad was a good idea

For your viewing pleasure (or slow death, I guess we'll see which it is by the end) I am presenting the worst campaign ads I could find from Miraflores and Barranco, 2 of the 43 districts in Lima (just imagine how many other brilliant pieces are floating around out there). I will not critique an ad based on a candidate's appearance unless the appearance is marred by poor photographic choices. I'll let you decide who needs to be fired for each of the following ads. Enjoy!



Now Enrique, I know the campaign trail tires you out, but could we choose a picture that doesn't make it look like your pacemaker just gave out while microwaving yourself a Hot Pocket? Maybe try smiling just a little. No? Alright, well at least choose the picture where the flash isn't reflected in your glasses! Let's move onto to a candidate who has a little more enthusiasm and pep.



Whoa! Maybe a little bit too much pep. I appreciate the positivity, but I don't know that I would feel comfortable voting for a mayor who dips past the second button and flashes his gold chain. Oh yeah, the thumbs up isn't exactly winning me over either.



No Manolo, adding Lourdes with her thumbs up doesn't help. I have noticed that Lourdes (Lima candidate) seems to really dig the whole thumbs up look.





Remember folks, there are 43 districts that Lourdes can rock the thumbs up with different district candidates. No, I don't think it's a good idea either. How about another really enthusiastic candidate?



I can only hear Andrade saying "Uh hyuh hyuh!" in a laughing Goofy voice or "4 out of 5 dentists recommend ______." Clearly, too much enthusiasm can be off-putting, but so can a dazed and confused stare.



I have no doubt that Cesar is a great guy and a qualified candidate, but how "cerca de la gente" can you really be when you're blazed out of your mind while listening to the Allman Brothers Band? Granted, Cesar certainly isn't as bad as our next goombas.



Wow, where do I start? Starting from the left: no you are not modeling for the new Stetson fragrance campaign. Middle: you're alright, but that smile is really creeping me out. Right: um, I would consider seeing a doctor before running for Vice Mayor. Want to try again, fellas?



Swing and a miss. By the way, Fernando, you now look like the Emperor from Star Wars. Just so you know, the Dark Side doesn't win. I would watch out for Jedis strolling around your campaign headquarters. Let's see what else is out there.



Another winner. First, I would suggest, Hiler, that you stop storing acorns in your mouth while taking pictures for your campaign. Also, looking at the camera seems to help. Jorge, Andy Gibb called. He wants his haircut back. Don't worry folks, Hiler gave it another shot...



...and came up with possibly the most patronizing pose this side of Iquitos. Why not add some vague campaign promises to your poster? Oh wait, I see that you have. Translated, he promises "Now, yes!" and "Barranco for everyone!" Now that's a mayor with a vision! What's that, you want more thumbs ups? I think I might know just the people for that.



Thumbs ups for everyone!! Let's take a look at one of the more creative ad tactics. Implicit endorsement by...



The President of the United States of America!



I'm sure President Obama would be thrilled to find out that Dr. Dave is using his likeness to tell people to vote for him. Oh yeah, and to help stop diabetes and anemia. Now the next ad actually has a great picture. I think Guillermo really nailed this shot.




His party logo, on the other hand, I'm not quite so keen on. I really think someone should stop that green blob monster from absorbing a helpless baby. I don't know about you, but I am outraged that Guillermo is letting such an atrocity occur right next to him. Oh, I hear Enrique (from the beginning of the entry) wants to submit another entry.



Well I'm not sure who that other guy is in the photo, but can I vote for him instead? Alright, I'll give you one last chance.



I'm speechless, Enrique. You seem just as baffled as me. This is what I'm dealing with, folks. If you think the endless lead up to the 2008 presidential election was painful, just browse through these photos one more time. And remember, I showed you photos from 2 districts our of FORTY THREE! I'm sick of it all, and I think I just won't vote in the upcoming election. Until a candidate delivers on his/her promises of expanded wig shop zoning and less stringent roof leashing laws, you can count me out.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Untitled

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of breaths we take away." - Carleton greeting card



















RIP
Handlestache
February 26, 2010 - September 18, 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Reader Mail - Round Three

The highlight of my day was hearing "Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" by Shania Twain while doing curls (for the girls!) at the Master Gym. This was the highlight, mind you, so I think I'll address other topics for this entry. I was swamped at work during August, and I unfortunately left the piles of readers' questions and queries unattended. To the thousands of curious fans out there I send my sincerest apologies, and I hope that my responses today will help to make up for my negligence. On that note, let's dive in to some questions!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Christine,

Let your mind start a journey,
Through a strange new world,
Leave all thoughts
Of the world you knew before,
Let your soul take you where you long to be,
Only then can you belong to me.

Erik
Paris Opera House
Paris, France


Erik,

Despite the fact that you addressed me as Christine, you didn't actually have a question in your email (sent from 'Misunderstood_Opera_Lover@gmail.com'), and you seem to have quoted lyrics verbatim from "The Music of the Night" in Andrew Lloyd Webber's delightful Broadway musical "The Phantom of the Opera," I will endeavor to respond to you. While I don't believe the final 4 lines are applicable to my situation, your suggestion to let my mind start a journey through a strange new world certainly rings true. I wouldn't say Lima qualifies as a strange new world, but there are certainly lots of interesting things I have seen and have mentioned in this blog. And as you probably know, I rarely refuse an opportunity to discuss more surprising aspects of living in Peru.
- When I ran the half marathon I saw a runner participating with his Dachshund. The little fella might have had tremendous endurance, but that seems cruel to me. Also, they gave out bananas at some of hydration points along the route. Because the trash cans were placed on the far side of the road, many people ended up throwing their banana peels right on the road way. Good intentions, but I'm not convinced that was the best idea.
- Croissants are gigantic in the bakeries here. Take a croissant, double it, double it again, and you have a "cachito," the Peruvian equivalent of a croissant. I like croissants as much as the next guy (unless we're talking about a French guy, and trust me, I have experience talking about them), but a quad-croissant just strikes me as too much of a good thing.
- In the Metro supermarket here I can find roughly 15 varieties of hot dog. When Peruvians make fun of American food and say all we eat is hamburgers and hot dogs, I promptly pull out my travel mirror and ask them to look into it. He/she then thanks me for the service of my mirror, and we go our separate ways.
- There are mountains and mountains of limes, but not a lemon in sight.
Thanks for the letter, Erik, and I will forgive your etiquette transgressions because I enjoy "The Phantom of the Opera" so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Andrew,

Now that you have traveled outside of Lima and seen some other parts of Peru, have you caught the travel bug? Are you planning many more trips in the future?

Cordially,
Phyllis
Manteca, CA


Phyllis,

First, let me say how sad I am that Manteca no longer has the wonderful water slide park I enjoyed so much as a child. Though I know you feel the pain much more acutely, I want to let you know that we mourn together. Secondly, in response to your question, I would venture to say that I haven't caught the travel bug entirely, and I'm taking some antibiotics just to make sure. For the remaining 2.5 months I have a 2 week vacation in October planned with my friend Julie from high school. We will be exploring the southern parts of Peru including: Arequipa, Colca Canyon, Puno, Lake Titicaca, Cusco, Urubamba, and Machu Picchu. Besides that big expedition, I would like to do 2 or 3 additional weekend trips to the rain forest (Iquitos), a beach to the north (Trujillo possibly), and the mountainous region to the northeast of Lima (Huaraz). I don't know if I will be able to fit it all in, but from hearing other travelers' stories here in the hostel I realize that it's impossible to see everything. There is so much to do in Peru, and South America, that I don't want to spread myself too thin trying to see it all. Speaking of spreading things thin, my dear mother kindly found me two bottles of Vegemite which are now en route to Lima. I tell you, that devilish spread is instantly addictive (I am confident that only Australians readers would agree with me while everyone else probably things I'm dealing with less than a full deck.). On the weekends when I won't be traveling I will continue to enjoy the sights and amazing tastes here in Lima. Even though there is a lot I want to see in rest of Peru I still have many outstanding visits (yes, mostly to restaurants) to make here in Lima. Thanks for the letter, Phyllis.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Andrew,

You have now been in Peru, speaking Spanish I presume, for over three months. Are you fluent? Can you carry on a conversation with anyone you encounter? Do you find Shakira and Penelope Cruz more attractive? Should I buy term life insurance?


Thank you,
Wilson
La Crosse, Wisconsin


Wilson,

Thanks for taking the time to write in. I know very little about Wisconsin so I looked up some information about the state. Turns out the state fossil is the Trilobite. That tidbit just might come in handy some day. In regard to your questions, I wouldn't call myself fluent. Far from it, actually. However, I find that I am able to easily carry on conversations with most people, express my feelings and thoughts accurately, and speak without hesitation or anxiety. I know that I have many grammatical errors in my speech, but fortunately the Peruvians understand me and I am able to understand them. The most noticeable difference for me is that I can switch to Spanish and pick up a conversation without thinking consciously about it. It's very rewarding to be able to transition smoothly into another language, and I hope to brush up on my Italian (maybe spend some time there too) so I can get to the same point with that language as well. I find Shakira and Penelop Cruz just as attractive as before I left. Emmy Rossum, on the other hand, has rapidly ascended the Andrew Popularity Chart during my stay here. And I don't precisely know how term life insurance differs from regular life insurance, but I prefer not to take chances. So yes, you should buy term life insurance. Possibly the Gerber Grow-Up Plan as well. Good stuff, Wilson.
~~~~~~~~~~~
On a serious and factual note, I'd like to thank everyone for their continued support of my writing in this blog. All your feedback has been terrific and tremendously motivating. I hope to keep the content interesting, and if there is anything you'd like to see please let me know.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Winter Weekender or Unexpected International Film Festival

Now I know we're all still buzzing from the Djokovic-Nadal US Open final so I will try to keep this entry interesting. Let's start things off with a picture.

Yes, that is me and Albert Einstein on an aquatic adventure together. That guy is hilarious, what a character.

This week I planned to take Friday off and catch a bus down to Ica, a wine-producing town about 5 hours south of Lima. I suggested this trip to Ashley, my sharp, attractive, and overall highly skilled friend from GEA (you're reading this, right Ashley?? Sorry fellas, she's spoken for.), and being the excellent sport that she is, she decided to join this excursion. After going to Ica, we wanted to see Huacachina, and then finish things off in Paracas before returning to Lima. Little did we know what we were getting ourselves in to (cue sinister music and Vincent Price doing something equally sinister, from beyond the grave ooooOOOOO!).

We met up on Friday morning and grabbed a cab to the Soyuz bus station. Soyuz, besides having a curious and unattractive name, also offers frequent departures to Ica. Since the tickets only cost us about $11, it was the natural choice. We boarded the 9:15 to Ica and were on our way. The bus was similar to any charter bus you have seen before, so of course there were televisions. And you better believe they had movies. We started things out with "Breakdown" starring Kurt Russell as a rough and tumble husband who must rescue his kidnapped wife from a trucker in the desert. In Spanish. We then saw "The Rebound," Catherine Zeta-Jones' romantic comedy about something romantic and comedic, also in Spanish. The logical next movie was, logically, a Bollywood flick, however this was only subtitled in Spanish. I can't tell you what the name was, but I saw lots of songs, dancing, and forbidden romancing. We finished with special effects-heavy and entertainment-light "10,000 B.C." Feel free to see it in any language, it doesn't help. Since we are talking movies I will just go ahead and give the lineup for the return trip. We began the ride with action, but this time we watched a Spanish-dubbed Chinese martial arts film. Because our trip back was shorter (to be explained later) we only had time for one additional film, so we concluded our film festival with Jackie Chan's lighthearted romantic-comedy spy thriller, "The Spy Next Door." I knew we were in for some surprises this weekend, but I never expected such an international cinematic sampling. It was definitely an eclectic mix and certainly an appreciated diversion since the scenery was barren desert the entire way.

Once we arrived in Ica we grabbed a quick lunch (Roky's, not to be confused with Norky's) before exploring the Plaza de Armas. Every medium size or larger town has a Plaza de Armas, and Ica's was modest but well kept. Unfortunately, this region of Peru was hit by a massive earthquake in 2007, and much of the damage is visible today. One of the largest churches in Ica still has large cracks in its main tower, and you can see rubble from fallen structures all over the place. Because Ica didn't have much else to see, we hailed a cab to take us to a local winery. I know that I told you that the trip was through the desert, but Ica benefits from being located in a fertile valley with a perfect climate for growing certain types of grapes. So Ashley and I headed out to the Bodega El Catador to sample their wines and Piscos. After a ten minute cab ride we arrived at a small restaurant and bar underneath a large tent (the kind you might enjoy at a wedding reception). We were the only customers there, so we were given personal attention as we sampled a variety of wines and four different Piscos. The wines were solid (though all semi-sweet or sweet since that varietal of grape is best suited to the Ica climate) and the Piscos strong, and best of all everything was really cheap. I'm talking $5.50 for a bottle of wine and $12 for a bottle of Pisco. The most interesting product they sold was a bottled Pisco cocktail made from Pisco, milk, and pureed figs. It struck me as Peru's version of a mudslide, and it actually tasted similar as well. We stayed there a few hours enjoying our wine, a few Pisco sours, and their delicious cancha (Peruvian corn nuts) and then headed back to Ica to get a taxi for Huacachina.

It was dark when we arrived in the desert Oasis of Huacachina, so we couldn't really enjoy the scenery. Because the town is so small we searched for our hotel on foot. When a local heard we were looking for La Casa de Arena, he hailed his friend driving a dune buggy to give us a ride. Easily the best taxi ride I've had thus far. Once we checked in we grabbed a dinner and a few drinks then headed back to the hotel to crash. It was dark and we were getting tired, but then I checked my watch. 8:05pm. Hmmm, that was earlier than I expected. To avoid waking up at 5am with nothing to do, we headed back out to a bar in town and had some Cusquena beer and ice cream. After another stop at a bar next to our hotel with a very friendly bartender we decided to call it a night. Yeah it was probably only 9:30 at that point, but Huacachina is a very small, very sleepy little town. The only industry is tourism so if there aren't a lot of travelers around, there isn't a whole lot to do. That's ok, we had to wake up rather early on Saturday to embark on our sand dune adventure. After eating a delicious omelet the next morning (with two cups of a French press organic shade-grown Amazonian coffee, their words not mine), Ashley and I hopped in Sonrisas' (yes that is his name and it means "smiles") dune buggy to motor around the dunes and board down the smoothest ones. Did we sign a waiver or release of liability? Technically no, but I feel like it had to be extra safe since they weren't even worried about lawsuits. About 15 seconds into the dune buggying, I quickly revised my appraisal of this activity. We were flying across the flatter areas, bombing down the drop offs, and driving up dunes that seemed way too steep for our modest buggy. The landscape was stunning and reminded me of desert scenes you see in movies: sand dunes as far as the eye can see, absolute lack of plant life, killer mummies and Sand People. This place had it all. When Sonrisas found a smooth and tall dune he would stop and whip out the sandboards. These were essentially wooden snowboards which you could either strap to your feet or lie on on your stomach. I tried both methods but enjoyed the face-first stomach method a lot more because you can get going a lot faster. We started on three modest dunes, and Ashley, our three other companions, and I all had a grand time sliding down the dunes. Sonrisas, being an experienced dune adventure leader, saved the best for last of course. El Catedral. I don't know how tall it was, but it felt gigantic. I don't know how steep it was, but I don't think I could have walked down it without falling. He said that you get up to 75mph on it, and you're not allowed to go down snowboard style because it's too dangerous. Hmmm, probably a good thing I have health insurance. We each got to go down two times, and while the second time was slightly more comfortable, these were some thrilling rides. I mean, it was no "Breakdown," but the natural beauty of the dunes made up for that. Capping off our duning adventure was a stop above the Huacachina lagoon (featured on the back of the 50 Nuevos Soles bill) for some picture taking. Pictures taken and dunes descended, we made our way back to Ica to catch a bus for Pisco and Paracas.

A brief bus and taxi ride later, we found ourselves in the Pisco Plaza de Armas. Pisco is the namesake of Peru's national spirit and also a necessary intermediate destination for travelers headed for the fishing village of Paracas. Pisco was bustling, but it was also still devastated by the 2007 quake. Ashley and I walked around a little bit and saw ruined streets, tons of holes in the sidewalks, and many caving buildings. The most interesting sight was an open air food and general goods market, but after we perused that we grabbed a taxi for Paracas. Paracas is much smaller than Pisco, but unlike Huacachina the residents seem to subsist not only on tourism but on fishing. The abundance of fish helps not only the Paracan fisherman, but also the Islas Ballestas, our primary reason for visiting. These islands are a national bird preserve filled with Peruvian Boobies, Pelicans, Cormorants, Sea Lions (not a bird), and Penguins. Before we could enjoy that, Ashley and I checked into El Refugio del Pirata and caught the sunset while enjoying Chicharon de Calamar, Picante de Mixto, and some beer by the beach. We then headed back to the rooftop terrace of our hotel and tossed back a few more drinks before weariness began to take over. We were about to crash when I checked the time. 8:37pm. What the crap?! I don't understand why we ended up trying to finish our nights so early, but Huacachina and Paracas seem to have that effect. So we watched "The Breakup," romantic comedy number 53 for the weekend and called it a night. And no, I have no clue why Jennifer Anniston ever got with Vince Vaughn in the first place, but I missed the first part.

Bright and early the nest morning, we commandeered a vessel to take us on a tour of the Islas Ballestas. And by "commandeered a vessel," I mean we asked the hostel receptionist to please help us get on a boat to the islands. A thirty minute boat ride later we were circling the rocky Islas Ballestas. Not only are they beautiful rock formations with arches, caves, and steep cliffs, they also have lots of birds. Lots and lots of birds. 50,000+ birds. The highlight for me was the penguins (or penguinos if you want the Spanish nomenclature). Apparently Humboldt Penguins enjoy the Islas Ballestas as much as the Peruvian Booby, and all of these protected birds come here to delight in the abundance of seafood. I actually misspoke. The highlight for me was not getting bombed because there were a lot of airborne birds above a lot of tourists with virtual targets on their heads. Several other passengers were hit, but Ashley and I made it out unscathed. After the two hour tour, we grabbed a quick snack, boarded a taxi back to the Panamericana, hopped on a Soyuz, and started our journey back to Lima.

This was my first real trip outside of Lima, and it took me 13 weeks to to do it. Do I regret not traveling sooner? Absolutely not. Exploring the Lima cultural and food scene and feeling like a true resident of the city has been an awesome experience, and I don't think I could have achieved these had I traveled more. I would like to get out a few more times on the weekends (in addition to a two week trip in October), but Lima feels like home (at least away from home) and it's nice to relax here as well. Plus, you just can't good quality wigs or reliable roof dogs once you leave the big city.

Housekeeping: there are more photos in the Flickr account (and Facebook if you still use that ol' clunker).

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Anatomy of a Moose-stache

I love Australians (Kiwis included). Nothing against French, Belgians, Brits, Americans, Malaysians, Spaniards, Dutch, Danes, Scots, Brazilians, Israelis, Colombians, Germans, or Canucks (I think that covers the nationalities I've met), but the Australians are an extremely friendly bunch. Yesterday I met Matt and Tali, an Aussie couple on a 6 month (!) vacation around Latin America. She has worked intermittently in both makeup design and neuropsychology and he manages the North Shore Gym in Pymble, Australia. I enjoyed hearing about their travels and telling them about my experiences, but they really won me over when they both complimented me on my mustache. In addition to this affirmation, Tali also revealed to me that she is actually attracted to mustaches (which she pronounces "moose-stache"). Finally! I found a female who is not only not repulsed by mustaches but LIKES them. It only took coming to Peru and meeting international travelers for three months. Matt was sporting long golden locks and a healthy red beard, and I was puzzled why he didn't shave the beard and favor his maiden with a regal mustache.

I only had to wait until this morning. While eating a cheese and jam sandwich on Bembo's Doble Fibra bread I saw Matt and Tali walk into the kitchen, and I was immediately spellbound. Matt had shaved his unwieldy beard into a sleek and professional mustache, not unlike my own. Here is a picture of us pondering the mysteries of life and mustachery:

After a lot of back-patting and congratulations, they whipped out two sunblock-like tubes of Vegemite. Not to perpetuate stereotypes, but Aussies love Vegemite. They had packed some when they initially left Australia but unfortunately found their reserves depleted upon arriving in Brazil. Fortunately, Tali's mom shipped several new tubes to sustain them for the remainder of the trip. For those who are unfamiliar with the product, it is a savory brown food spread made from yeast extract, most commonly spread on buttered toast or sandwiches. Delicious, right? I tried it once before and had bad memories of a super salty and intensely flavored axle grease-like goop. When Tali offered to prepare me a Vegemite toast I felt I couldn't refuse. Perhaps Vegemite toast made by an Aussie would win me over. I took my first bite and was again struck by the sharp saltiness of the paste. However, that was tempered by the butter, and I soon found myself enthralled by the rich savoriness of the concoction and easily finished the remaining toast (on the walk to work, I was thinking of ways I could get more Vegemite. When prepared properly this stuff is instantly addictive.). I now understand why Matt and Tali went to such lengths to ensure adequate Vegemite stores on their trip. They not only had Vegemite the product, but Vegemite anecdotes. About a year ago Vegemite released a new spread which combined Vegemite with cream cheese. However, this smoother tasting variant was not named, and a contest was held to choose a name for the addition to the Kraft family. Somehow "iSnack 2.0" was chosen. 4 days later, due to intense public ridicule, the product was renamed Vegemite Cheesybite. Yeah, that was probably a smarter choice.

Of course, even all things Vegemite couldn't keep Matt and I away from mustache discussion very long. He tried a horseshoe mustache (similar to what I wore for the previous 5 months) but said he looked "too dirty." He then settled on the more contemporary look you see above, which he explained to me as having two distinct parts. Instead of poorly paraphrasing his words, I made a diagram which captures the spirit of the design:

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending who you talk to), my mustache will be entering retirement at the end of this month. We had a roller coaster 6 months together, but I think it's time to stop intimidating everybody with my fearsomeness. Sure, it's a majestic look, but I am ready to graduate to something new.

Speaking of something new, last night I ate dinner at Como Agua para Chocolate, a Mexican restaurant in San Isidro which takes its name from the popular book/movie. I noticed it while exploring on Saturday and knew I had to return once hunger permitted. I arrived last night was promptly seated (there was one other lady in the restaurant) and handed two menus. One was the food menu and the other was the bar food and drink menu. I did not need to look at the food menu because I knew I wanted chips, guacamole, and the burrito. Upon perusing the drink menu I became quite excited because it featured a number of European beers! Including Guinness! I have complained before about the lack of quality and variety in Peruvian beers, and despite the relative expense of the Euro beers, I was a very happy camper. I savored a 500ml Guinness and a 330ml Hoegaarden Grand Cru during my meal, and they were well worth the S./39 they set me back. The burrito was also tasty, but I was slightly concerned by the presentation:

Though the flavors were good, this burrito was decidedly unrolled. When the owner, who is from Veracruz, came over to ask how the food was, I commented that it had great flavor but wasn't what I expected after ordering a burrito. She replied that they used to roll it up, but confused Peruvian diners weren't sure how to eat it. Thus, they modified the structure to cater to local preferences. She was very nice and offered to make it the traditional way next time I drop way (way to lock me in for another dinner, lady!). She also offered to try to make any Oaxacan or Veracruz specialties that I requested. As if she weren't cool enough, she also told me her husband is Belgian and loves beer! So that explains the strangely European beer list in a Mexican restaurant in Peru. They are having a buffet on September 15th to celebrate independence day, and I am very tempted to drop by and request a true burrito. Even if she forgets about her offer, I imagine upon seeing my mustache she will accede to my demands out of fear for her safety.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Pls Read. Thnx, A

Before I dive in to this entry's topic, I'd like to make one last observation about the half marathon. During races like this it is almost universal to have water booths periodically spaced throughout the race with cups of water available to the runners. Because you're running, it's much more likely that you will throw the cup on the ground after you manage to get none of the water in your mouth (try drinking out of cup while running. It's about as effective as a BP Top Kill. Too soon?) rather than throw it in one of the provided trash cans. Over time the ground becomes littered with cups, but it's not a big deal since they get smooshed and aren't treacherous to run over. The Lima Half Marathon organizers creatively thought to provide a light snack at several of the hydration booths...halved bananas. You can probably imagine the unfortunate result of this: a roughly 200 ft stretch of road littered with banana peels. I didn't see any injuries caused by the peels, but come on people! Why not also provide complimentary snack packs of ball bearings and Nike-brand single roller skates?

Sorry for the internet silence during the past week. It seems I ate a bad ceviche and came down with a case of food poisoning. Don't worry, I have no reservations which would prevent me from enjoying more seafood during my trip, but I certainly did not feel inspired to write any blog entries. Also, there wasn't much to write about since I spent most of my time sleeping, watching movies, or following the PAMP diet (popular for generations of upset American stomachs, the BRAT diet is commonly prescribed to steer the sick individual away from irritating foods. Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast becomes the PAMP diet in Spanish [Platano, Arroz,Manzana, Pan tostado]). Riveting stuff, right? I was still working, however, because last week was Melissa's final week in Huaraz and there were tasks that needed my attention. Susana was absent most of the week at an educational conference so I took the liberty of turning the office into a small theatre so I could finally perform my one-man, spoken word rendition of "Phantom of the Opera." The chandelier scene was a serious pain in the llama, but the audience was really blown away.

While some of that last statement might not have actually happened, I definitely did receive quite the flow of emails from Susana. I appreciate the convenience of email, as well as its accessibility, reliability, and speed. However, I will often bemoan its impact on written English (I know, I know. I can be a guilty party too, and far be it from my to say this writing isn't flawed). Weird abbreviations and acronyms dominate sentence fragments which are sometimes so unfamiliar as to seem some sort of cryptic code. That may be an exaggeration, but many emails can be hard to read because there are so many assaults on the conventions of written English. I try my best to write even brief emails grammatically, mostly in the fear that cutting corners in email will eventually ruin the rest of my writing. Some of you might be thinking, "Hey Andrew, you know what I find hard to read? Parenthetical insertions and unrelated asides! How about a little fluidity, Jack?!" You have a point, and my name isn't Jack. However, I like quick little changes in topic because it rather reflects how I think. And good luck finding another Lima-American-expat-roofdog-wig search blog. Anyways, I was complaining about the state of English in emails. Let me be the first to tell you (Caution: I may not be the first to tell you) that the same "time-saving" language tools seen in American emails are just as ubiquitous in Spanish emails. For your consideration:

Andre, pr fa, trascribe esto para Jim, si tuvieras alguna duda consultalo con Karla. Gracias.

Slu2,Su.

And now, the English translation:

Andre, please, translate this for Jim, if you have any doubt consult Karla. Thanks.

Sincerely, Su.

Now besides spelling my name wrong, she also shortened "por favor" to "pr fa" and somehow transformed "Saludos" into "Slu2." And let us not forget the excessive commas and run on sentencetation. I know that she wrote this on her computer (as opposed to a smartphone), so I can't understand why it's necessary to save a couple milliseconds with these eye-burning writing techniques. Granted, I was probably more irritable last week because I felt like I had the bird flu (and I mean South American bird flu, not the cupcake American variety), but I still find this kind of writing highly sloppy and painful to read. Of course, don't feel like you can't write me emails with abbreviations and acronyms. Just make sure that I didn't order the Tuesday lunch special from Costa del Sur.

Fortunately, I was fully recovered by Friday night. I wanted to spend this weekend enjoying some relaxing morning US Open coverage and exploring parts of Miraflores and San Isidro (the upscale districts) which I hadn't yet seen. I set off walking from Barranco and headed north. Along my travels, I ate a chicken empanada from a street cart (great value at 1.5 soles. Flaky crust, chicken that really tasted like chicken, and plenty of tender sauteed mushrooms), bought a half kilo of almonds (25 soles), and purchased a croissant from French bakery, La Baguette (2.5 soles, wasn't light or flaky enough though the flavor was estimable). I also ate a quick lunch at a slightly upscale Chinese restaurant I had been meaning to try. They are the only place I've seen in Lima that serves tofu, and strangely I was craving the soybean wonderfood. I ordered the Mabo Tofu and was promptly disappointed by the in-your-face saltiness of the sauce, but the side of fried rice was excellent so I didn't have any regrets. Once I reached the northernmost part of San Isidro I intended to visit, I almost failed a cab to take me back to Barranco. Then I saw a restaurant named "Como Agua Para Chocolate" or "Like Water for Chocolate." I remembered seeing the name listed as one of the only Mexican restaurants in Lima. There are some that claim to be Mexican, like Los Tacos in Miraflores. I asked them if they served burritos. The owner said, "Sure we serve those." I looked at the menu and saw no burritos (and no definite Mexican dishes either), and I told him that I couldn't find the burrito section. He then told me, "Oh we have tacos. Those are burritos." FAIL. So when I saw Como Agua Para Chocolate I was appropriately excited. I went inside and was immediately reminded of the colorful Mexican restaurants in the US with lots of flowers, bright murals on the walls, rustic stained wood tables, and arched recesses next to the booths. The sort of place that gives you a bowl of greasy and impossibly crispy tortilla chips that sometimes stick together and a liquidy red salsa and of course a variety of combination plates which revolve around enchiladas, tacos, and chile rellenos. Follow me? After seeing the atmosphere, I had a good feeling, and this was confirmed by the menu which was full of typical Oaxacan (the menu told me, I actually didn't know) specialties. And "two-tortilla" burritos. Hubba, hubba! I was really full from eating basically nonstop on the way there so I couldn't do my civic duty and order one, but you know I'll be back this week. I hadn't realized how much I missed burritos (Mexican or otherwise), but seeing them prominently displayed on the menu rekindled my love affair. I am afraid of the burrito being delicious because San Isidro isn't exactly convenient, and if I got addicted I would be spending a lot on cab rides. Oh well, my cross to bear.

More photos in the Flickr account!