A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, Most of Them Are "Yuck"

Living in Lima during the mayoral elections has certainly been stimulating. The director of GEA spoke in a televised debate, there are vigorous political discussions in the office and on the street, and one can truly sense a palpable buzz about the elections. Despite these positive aspects of the elections there is a major negative which seems to override them all. There are posters, banners, fliers, flags, billboards, leaflets, pamphlets, and murals everywhere. You may be saying to yourself, "Did I leave the oven on? Also, did I remember to let Barry, my long-haired dachshund, into the yard while I pick up more spackle at the Home Depot?" You might also be saying to yourself, "Lima only has one mayor, and there can't be more than a handful of candidates. I wonder why Andrew is so put out by all this. Well, I'm not going to worry over it since I remembered to pick up that spackle I needed." True, Lima only has one mayor. However, every district in Lima also has a mayor. And oh yeah, there are FORTY THREE districts in Lima. Therefore, each district is swamped by publicity for both the districtal candidate and the Lima candidate. Compounding this problem is the fact that each race has approximately 10 candidates running for mayor. The bottom line is everyone in this fair city is constantly and relentlessly bombarded by candidates' faces and messages. I have had difficulty taking decent pictures in Lima because there are so many billboards, banners, posters, etc. all over the place. Now I try to be a tolerant guy, but these ads really bother me. Not only are they in my face all the time, but many of them have major problems in the ad itself. Of the worst offenders, I find that the ads fall into two broad categories:

- Fire your photographer

- Fire whoever thought that ad was a good idea

For your viewing pleasure (or slow death, I guess we'll see which it is by the end) I am presenting the worst campaign ads I could find from Miraflores and Barranco, 2 of the 43 districts in Lima (just imagine how many other brilliant pieces are floating around out there). I will not critique an ad based on a candidate's appearance unless the appearance is marred by poor photographic choices. I'll let you decide who needs to be fired for each of the following ads. Enjoy!



Now Enrique, I know the campaign trail tires you out, but could we choose a picture that doesn't make it look like your pacemaker just gave out while microwaving yourself a Hot Pocket? Maybe try smiling just a little. No? Alright, well at least choose the picture where the flash isn't reflected in your glasses! Let's move onto to a candidate who has a little more enthusiasm and pep.



Whoa! Maybe a little bit too much pep. I appreciate the positivity, but I don't know that I would feel comfortable voting for a mayor who dips past the second button and flashes his gold chain. Oh yeah, the thumbs up isn't exactly winning me over either.



No Manolo, adding Lourdes with her thumbs up doesn't help. I have noticed that Lourdes (Lima candidate) seems to really dig the whole thumbs up look.





Remember folks, there are 43 districts that Lourdes can rock the thumbs up with different district candidates. No, I don't think it's a good idea either. How about another really enthusiastic candidate?



I can only hear Andrade saying "Uh hyuh hyuh!" in a laughing Goofy voice or "4 out of 5 dentists recommend ______." Clearly, too much enthusiasm can be off-putting, but so can a dazed and confused stare.



I have no doubt that Cesar is a great guy and a qualified candidate, but how "cerca de la gente" can you really be when you're blazed out of your mind while listening to the Allman Brothers Band? Granted, Cesar certainly isn't as bad as our next goombas.



Wow, where do I start? Starting from the left: no you are not modeling for the new Stetson fragrance campaign. Middle: you're alright, but that smile is really creeping me out. Right: um, I would consider seeing a doctor before running for Vice Mayor. Want to try again, fellas?



Swing and a miss. By the way, Fernando, you now look like the Emperor from Star Wars. Just so you know, the Dark Side doesn't win. I would watch out for Jedis strolling around your campaign headquarters. Let's see what else is out there.



Another winner. First, I would suggest, Hiler, that you stop storing acorns in your mouth while taking pictures for your campaign. Also, looking at the camera seems to help. Jorge, Andy Gibb called. He wants his haircut back. Don't worry folks, Hiler gave it another shot...



...and came up with possibly the most patronizing pose this side of Iquitos. Why not add some vague campaign promises to your poster? Oh wait, I see that you have. Translated, he promises "Now, yes!" and "Barranco for everyone!" Now that's a mayor with a vision! What's that, you want more thumbs ups? I think I might know just the people for that.



Thumbs ups for everyone!! Let's take a look at one of the more creative ad tactics. Implicit endorsement by...



The President of the United States of America!



I'm sure President Obama would be thrilled to find out that Dr. Dave is using his likeness to tell people to vote for him. Oh yeah, and to help stop diabetes and anemia. Now the next ad actually has a great picture. I think Guillermo really nailed this shot.




His party logo, on the other hand, I'm not quite so keen on. I really think someone should stop that green blob monster from absorbing a helpless baby. I don't know about you, but I am outraged that Guillermo is letting such an atrocity occur right next to him. Oh, I hear Enrique (from the beginning of the entry) wants to submit another entry.



Well I'm not sure who that other guy is in the photo, but can I vote for him instead? Alright, I'll give you one last chance.



I'm speechless, Enrique. You seem just as baffled as me. This is what I'm dealing with, folks. If you think the endless lead up to the 2008 presidential election was painful, just browse through these photos one more time. And remember, I showed you photos from 2 districts our of FORTY THREE! I'm sick of it all, and I think I just won't vote in the upcoming election. Until a candidate delivers on his/her promises of expanded wig shop zoning and less stringent roof leashing laws, you can count me out.